An Unnecessary Lie
by Half Demon Alchemist
Summary: Roy has been telling a lie, an unnecessary lie. Why is it so unnecessary? Because Edward already knows the truth, and Roy knows that Edward knows that he's unfaithful to him. And it kills Edward on the inside, and Roy knows that very well.


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**Based off the song Unfaithful by Rihanna**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA**

___Roy's POV_

This was the story of my life. I'm searching for the right, the right everything. The right job, the right clothes and the right person to love. But it seems that it just keeps avoiding me.

There was sorrow in my soul. My soul is filled to the brim with sorrow and guilt. Wrong really seems to love my company.

Edward is more than a man, Ed had become a man at the age of twelve, and at eighteen, he was certainly considered a man. And this was more than love. Yes, it was more than love. Was it simply lust? Or more than that? This was the reason the sky was blue. The clouds were rolling in. Thick, dark clouds, obscuring the sun from view. The golden sun, a constant reminder for me of my young lover's eyes.

I am gone again, gone leaving Edward. I was doing what can't be true.

And I know that Ed knows I'm unfaithful and it kills the blonde inside. Kills him, crushes his soul, shatters his heart to know that I am with some other girl.

...I can see Ed dying.

As for me, I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to have to sneak around, behind his back, pretending I don't know he knows. I'm tired of being the reason why. And every time I walk out the door of our shared apartment...

...I see Edward die a little more inside.

But, I don't want to hurt Edward anymore. He's had enough pain in his life as it is... I don't need to add to it, but for some reason, I can't bring myself to tell him. To tell him I'm with Riza.

I don't want to take away his life. He has so much to live for, so much potential. I don't want to be the person who tarnishes that golden beauty.

I don't want to be... A murderer. I'm already one because of The Ishvalan War Of Extermination. I don't want to be known as a murderer because I killed Edward, on the inside.

Yes, I feel it in the air, as I am fixing my raven black hair, making it charmingly tousled. I'm preparing for another date. Edward kisses my pale cheek and he reluctantly asks me a question. "Are you going to be out late, Roy?"

And I answer as I always do. "I won't be long, Ed, just going to the office." I knew that was a lie I didn't have to tell to him... We both knew where I was going, and we knew it very well.

'Cause I know that Edward knows I'm unfaithful to him, and it kills him inside, to know that I am with Riza. It's slowly devouring the blonde from the inside out. I am slowly killing him.

...I can see Edward dying. And it was my fault.

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep hurting him like this, to see that crushed look in his eyes when he sees me fixing myself up, for "paperwork at the office." I can't be the reason why. Still, every time I walk out our door, in the apartment we live in _together_. The apartment we bought, _together._

Edward always dies a little more inside, whenever I leave.

I can't hurt him anymore. Sometimes, emotional pain was far worse than physical. Right now, I'm pretty damn sure he would rather have me be abusive, but loyal, than how I am now, gentle and unfaithful.

But, I can't be... A murderer... Not again...

Our love, Edward's and I's, we have love together. A bond. And I'm destroying it. His trust, he had so much of it, once I earned it. And I was destroying it.

I am a murderer.

I might as well take a gun and put it to Edward's golden head. Get it over with. I know that me shooting him, and killing him, would cause him less pain than he's going through right now, with me leaving. Leaving to see someone else.

I am a murderer.

But, I don't want to do this, anymore. Still, I don't want to be the reason why every time he sees me open that door, that pained, betrayed look he gets in his beautiful golden eyes.

I am a murderer.

Really, I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't. It doesn't cause me a sadistic pleasure to see the hurt going through his eyes. I don't want to take away Edward's life... I don't want to be a murderer.

But... I am a murderer.

And Edward always dies a little more, day by day.

It was an unnecessary lie I was telling Edward each night.

Yes, I am a murderer.

A murderer telling a unnecessary lie.

**END.**

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**I decided not all of my fanfictions needed happy endings :3**


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